


L'appel du vide

by obsessivelyintrigued



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 06:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6692410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessivelyintrigued/pseuds/obsessivelyintrigued
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i><b>L'appel du vide</b> - the call of the void.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>It's been a long time since he stepped foot on the Millennium Falcon. Too long. He was called Ben Solo back then.</p><blockquote>
  <p>prompt response to: "I can't believe I let you talk me into this." for darkpilot.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	L'appel du vide

**Author's Note:**

> _How about a Darkpilot prompt for 25. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”? I loved your Benpoe prompt response; it was adorable as hell ;D_
> 
> Thank you so much, anon! :) I love this prompt, and I can't resist the call of the angst on this one. Lol. I hope you like it!

The Millennium Falcon sits idly outside the manor the Organa-Solo owns, sunlight reflecting on its exterior. Young Ben Solo fidgets at the doorway of his room as he watch Poe holding out a hand to him.

"Come on!" Fifteen year-old Poe smiles. "It'll be fun."

Turning to look at his window, Ben saw the sun just setting. Its orange light streaking past his open window and into the smooth, dark brown floor of his room. Shaking his head lightly, Ben looks over at Poe on his shoulders.

"I don't think I can do it, Poe."

"Oh please!" said Poe, still smiling. He walks back in to Ben's room, closing the door after him. He slings an arm over Ben's shoulders before saying. "Your dad won't be mad, I promise."

"Poe, you can't fly that thing! That's the Millennium Falcon." Ben argues- turning to look at Poe.

"I can fly anything." Poe snickers. He laughed loudly when Ben shoves his head with a hand on his face.

"At least let the night fall."

"Of course, my prince." Poe said, bowing down before laughing when Ben threw a pillow at him.

Poe hugs the pillow to his chest, before throwing himself beside Ben on the bed. He stare at Ben who is still looking at the window, his hair longer now and falling freely down to his face.

Fingers itching to trace the slope of Ben's nose, Poe bites his lip to stop himself and just stare. The way his lips pursed, his brow furrowing as if urging the light rays to just disappear already and let the blanket of the night fall among them.

"I remember when dad nearly had a heart attack when he saw us trying to start the Falcon." Ben laughs lightly, "and then Uncle Chewie carried us on his shoulders and you were tugging at his fur and Uncle Chewie nearly bit you."

Chuckling, Poe sat up and lean his back to Ben. Letting his head rest on the taller boy's shoulder, "Maybe this time we'll get to start it for real."

\--

Once inside the Millennium Falcon minutes later, Ben can feel his knees shaking as he sit on the co-pilot's chair with Poe already grinning wide and pushing buttons on the console.

"I can't believe you talked me into this." Ben whispered, half in awe - half in annoyance.

Poe raises an eyebrow at him and smiles. Then Ben feels the Falcon roar to life. He immediately turn his head to look at the door of their manor, vibrating with adrenaline and waiting to see the look on his parents' and Uncle Chewie's faces.

As Poe maneuvers the ship up, Ben saw their front door open and a startled Han Solo running after them with Leia and Chewbacca close to his feet.

Ben laughs when his uncle Chewie laid a firm hand on his father's shoulder to stop him and wave at them as if urging them to go.

Poe swivels in his seat when they're outside the planet, putting the ship on autopilot.

"How's that?"

"You're insane." Ben said, grinning at his best friend.

"But I'm your insane friend." Poe stood up holding his hand out again for Ben, "You can't get rid of me that easy. Wanna check the gunner's seat?"

\--

It's been a long time since he stepped foot on the Millennium Falcon. Too long. He was called Ben Solo back then.

But now. Now, he's called Kylo Ren.

Tracing his hand on the co-pilot seat he occupied twice, he let his gaze fall on the pilot's seat. Remembering the boy who occupied it with him those times.

His smirk, confident smile and _"I can fly anything"_ still fresh in his memories.

Ren took a sit, letting his head fall on the back of the chair. His fingers itching to press the buttons and just fly away.

He defected from the First Order. Gone home with his father and did everything he could to help the Resistance destroy the First Order.

And they did, the Resistance won. Luke Skywalker is back, now training him and Rey and a new set of padawans.

He declined at first, saying he doesn't deserve it. He's right, he _knows_ he's right. But Luke insisted, he let himself be trained again in the ways of the Jedi. But he never let himself forget the ways of the Sith.

He doesn't feel the belonging he seeks on either, so he was stuck in the middle. In Limbo. In a vacuum of grey with no assurance.

But he'd rather that. That way he eliminated Snoke, saved his Uncle and Rey - and inadvertently the new padawans now.

Sometimes he wished he'd done it sooner. Maybe if he did, the Hosnian System will still be there. The pilots who died in destroying the Starkiller is still alive.

And maybe, he'd find belonging if he just realized it sooner.

"Hey." A soft voice said behind him.

Ren immediately stood up and was shocked to see Poe before him, smiling almost sheepishly -his feet shuffling as though he doesn't know why he's here.

"Commander Dameron." he greets. He wouldn't call him by his name. The apology he made is not enough for this wonderful man before him to forgive him. Not even by a long shot.

"It's Poe for you, Ben."

"Ren. Kylo Ren."

"You're still Ben for me." Poe answered, he let his gaze travel farther on the windshield of the Falcon past Ben. "That'll never change."

"No." Ren insisted, his head turned in shame away from Poe. "What I did to you,- Don't let _Ben_ be the one who did that."

"He didn't. _Kylo Ren_ did that to me." Poe said, voice taking a soft tone as though he's whispering his words to the stars. "You're not Kylo Ren. You're Ben. For me, you're my Ben."

When Ben didn't answer, Poe clenched his jaw, urging himself to continue. "I know you don't want to forget what you did. And I don't want to either. I know that you regret it and this is your way to repent. To be reminded of the person who did those horrible things - _Kylo Ren_. I know that. I don't think I will ever forget."

"But you did the right thing. You saved the galaxy the moment you hugged your father and let him bring you home. You saved the galaxy when you told the Resistance how to destroy the First Order, when you ended Snoke."

Poe found himself standing closer to the other man. He slowly raises his hand and let his fingers run through the hair on the back Ben's neck. _Still so soft,_ Poe thinks.

" _Ben_ , you saved the galaxy when you saved yourself."

Poe turns his face to him and finds Ben's eyes closed, his lips trembling as though he's stopping himself from crying.

"You're still the Ben I fell in love with." Poe whispers before pressing a kiss on his forehead.

"P-poe?"

"Yes, my prince?"

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"To what?"

Ben opens his eyes to look at him, his always so expressive eyes swimming with emotions. "To finally accept myself."

\--

 


End file.
